When Harry Met Nikki
by tigersbride
Summary: Nikki gets some surprising news from New York and flies out there with Leo, how will she handle it?
1. Chapter 1

**So I thought I'd try something a bit unexpected! I hope you enjoy this. It will be multi-chap but it's not going to be very long. Expect about 5ish? I do have it all planned out but it may take me a while, pretty busy recently. Let me know what you think! **

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You can feel the world melting beneath your feet, the very earth you stand on turning into liquid and swallowing you whole. Your heart is beating quicker than you thought possible, and a nauseating heat swells over your body. You hadn't realised that you were the problem. The paper in your hand seems to change everything.

'_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Harry Cunningham and Lisa Jackson'_

You know that Jack is talking to you, that it's blatantly clear that you're upset and that you definitely shouldn't be. It's been a year after all. You hide the paper and feign a smile, commenting quickly that your ex-best friend is getting married, and that this is the first you've heard of it and you wish you'd remained close. You'd have put money on him seeing straight through you, but he seems to buy your excuses.

You wonder if Leo knew, if he was trying to shield you. Not that you care. You haven't spoken much to Harry since he left you. No matter that he's never far from your thoughts.

You look up and smile, planting a loveless kiss on the cheek of your colleague and lover of a year, the man you'd sworn once to hate, and instead pretended to love, hoping in vain to spark some jealousy from the States. Before long it had become routine. He didn't need to know who you were picturing when you slept together. He didn't need to know how you felt.

A few minutes pass and you find yourself needing to know more. You excuse yourself and dial Leo's familiar number, heart breaking as he admits he has known for a while, but was trying to convince Harry to tell you himself. You realise sadly that you didn't even know he was with someone, let alone that he was ready to commit. You realise that all along, he just didn't want you. You'd always put his leaving down to fear of commitment, but you'd been wrong all along.

Leo is imploring you now, insisting that you go. He doesn't want to go alone, and as Jack isn't invited you can accompany each other. Harry has okayed it for the two of you to stay in his house for the week up to and including the wedding, he tells you. Reluctantly you agree, but you swear to yourself that it'll be the last time you ever see Harry.

The next two months are an unhappy blur, and you only have time to blink before you find yourself landing in New York, looking glumly at Leo as the seat belt sign darkened and people around you start to jump up and grab their hand luggage. You're in no rush to leave the plane and start your week of hell. Typically, your bags are some of the first out onto the carousel, and you can't prolong the moment any longer.

He's stood, leaning casually against a column, looking better, if possible, than you remember. A wild smile breaks out on his face as he notices the two of you, and as you reach him, you stand by awkwardly as he throws his arms around a laughing Leo in a hug that can only be described as a bromance. They break up, and he turns to you, ready to hug you just as tightly until he reads your expression, and leans in gently with one arm, a soft embrace that could hold so much more. You look to the floor, smiling reluctantly, and you feel his hand on your back as he leads you both to his car. You note with horror the large black SUV that he drives now, and you roll your eyes as he lifts your bags easily into the boot. You may be in America, but you refuse to call it a trunk like he does.

You take your place in the back and sulk silently for the journey back, annoyed that the volume of Leo and Harry's catch up prevents you from having a sleep. There is such a thing as jet lag, after all. The event you were dreading more than your reintroduction to your ex-best friend is still to come, the introduction to his fiancée.

You groan inwardly when the car stops moving, the slight jolt of the halting momentum nudging you out of your day dreams and back to the present. You climb begrudgingly out of the car, parked on the street side outside a tall apartment building, where Harry and Lisa apparently share a two storey, two bedroom flat. You look upwards and cringe. You could never live somewhere so blank. The building isn't a home but a shelter. You thought you knew what it was going to be like before you stepped inside. You remember fondly his flat in London, and you remember how you'd crave the opportunity to add a woman's touch to the blank walls and modern furnishings. The odd antique, patterned cushions and floral wall hangings would make all the difference.

As Harry pushed back the door and you followed him and Leo inside, you furrow your brow a little at the large, sequin framed mirror, the glittering cushions and the deep purple throws on the sofa. The open plan layout was typically Harry, but the decor was an outside source. You notice that he's looking at you and you meet his gaze momentarily for the second time this evening, and he rolls his eyes slightly, as if to blame his wife-to-be. You smirk and look away while Harry shows Leo how to pull out the sofa bed that he'll be staying on. You can hear movement from upstairs and your heart beats as fast as it did when you first found out that Harry was tying the knot. You swallow and begin to chew on your lower lip, a clear sign to anyone that knew you that you were nervous. Harry isn't looking at you, he's explaining to Leo that he's going to tell Lisa that you've arrived, but as soon as he disappears upstairs Leo turns to you and puts a hand on your shoulder.

"You'll be fine" He whispers, and you nod silently. He nudges you when you continue to bite your lip, and you realise what you're doing and try to stop, taking instead to playing with your fingernails. You don't know what to expect. You assume that to keep Harry's attention she must be attractive, and you know well his usual type. All you know is her name, and your mind is bringing up picture after picture to try and pre-empt her arrival.

Thuds of footsteps on the stairs clang in your ears and you want nothing more than to be at home in London, tucked up in your bed alone and crying your eyes out. Anywhere but here. Harry is gingerly stepping down and waits at the bottom. You can tell from his face that he's nervous too, worried that you'll do something stupid. Are you really that obvious?

The image that fills your eyes is enough to make you seriously contemplate leaving. Lisa is tall, much closer to Harry's height than you would be even in heels, with gorgeous, gently curled dark hair that is nothing like your messy blonde nest. She has a large chest, but an impossibly small waist, and hips that echo her chest and accentuate her idyllic hourglass figure; the opposite of your tiny, skinny body. Her cheekbones are perfect and she has glossy, dark eyes and plump lips, and standing next to her you feel worse than you ever have about yourself. You need to sigh and question how anything is fair, but you have an appearance to keep up. You put on a warm smile which she half-returns as she wraps you in a hug. As she greets you, you notice her thick American accent and cringe a little. She proceeds to greet Leo, then wraps her arm straight around the back of Harry, and you can't help but think she's marking her territory and showing you where you stand. You don't need to be shown.

Any ounce of confidence you ever had has been destroyed by the way this perfect woman acts around the man you used to hope would one day be yours.

There's no point hoping. There's no point pretending.

You don't need anyone to tell you why he's picked this incredible woman over you.


	2. Chapter 2

Your stay had been awkward so far to say the least. Your bedroom, which included twin single beds, was adjacent to the one Harry and Lisa shared, and you had learned painfully that the walls were not as thick as you'd hope. You lift the lid of your suitcase and rummage until you find the dress you'd brought with you. Because the hen night had already been booked (or so you'd been told), Harry asked you to come with the men on the stag night. You would have enjoyed a night alone but he'd insisted that he felt bad, so you'd reluctantly agreed in the end. At least, you reasoned, it would be time away from Lisa.

The plain black bandeau hugged you tightly. You had always liked how it looked. You intended to look your best tonight. It was not your intention to speak to Harry more than necessary, but maybe you could show him something of what he was missing out on.

Thankfully, your hair was behaving today, and you tied it up in a messy bun, with strands dripping down purposefully. You hang a low necklace over your head and loop drop earrings from your ears. Once you've applied a decent amount of smokey makeup to your eyes and deep red lipstick, you put on your staple black heels and move downstairs towards the noise emanating from the men.

As you walk towards them, you listen as their chatter subsides and know full well that they're staring at you. Even Harry has fallen silent. From your peripherals you can see his gaze on your body but you avoid his eyes, and instead settle yours on a man sat two places to his left who catches your eye. He looks up at you with a smile, and you realise you like it. It's been a while since you've actually felt an attraction to anyone. His blonde hair and blue eyes is a mile away from what you usually fall for, and it's a refreshing change. You sit yourself beside him at the earliest opportunity, learning that his name is Dean and he's one of the pathologists at Harry's firm.

He's surprisingly easy to talk to, and you get on well, allowing yourself to flirt with him more than you've flirted with anyone in a while. Even when you started things with Jack, it was more allowing him to be with you than being together. The circumstances of the night mean that the amount of alcohol you are all expected to consume is large, and you soon start to feel drunk and giddy. You become aware of Harry's frequent glares, but you're careful not to give him the satisfaction of your own glances. At times, you're sure Leo's eyes are on you too, but his are watchful rather than angry.

It's not long before you find yourself in a nightclub, surrounded by other drunks, the majority of them a lot younger than you are. You're dancing seductively with Dean, and his hands drop to your waist. You don't care if you're being irresponsible. He asks you if you want to get another drink, some of the other guys are occupying a booth. You accept, and after a few shots and another rum and coke you're sat in the cramped booth, closer to Dean than you have been for most of the night. You're relieved that Harry isn't sat there, and you're pleased to have a laugh and a joke with Leo. After a little while, you feel a hand tap your shoulder and you look up, disappointment and annoyance likely evident on your face as you look straight into the eyes of Harry, who gestures for you to come with him for a word. You sigh and look towards Dean, whispering into his ear that you'll be back soon and leaving your hand on his thigh for slightly longer than you should. Harry is glaring at you as you stand up, and you meet his irritation with your own as you struggle to move between dancers until you can hear each other speak. You nearly get lost but he grabs your hand, holding it firmly. As soon as you reach the outdoor smoking area, you shake his fingers off yours so quickly and harshly that he almost looks hurt.

For a few moments you do nothing but stare at each other, fury in your drunken eyes. Eventually, he opens his mouth.

"What's going on with you?" He questions bitterly. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?" You retort.

"Oh come on, Niks, you know exactly what you're doing... and you have a boyfriend."

"That's none of your business."

"I care about you." He says insistently.

"My life stopped being your business when you left, Harry." You're raising your voice more than you meant to, but your blood is drowning in alcohol and you can't control yourself as much as you'd like. "It stopped being your business when you abandoned me, and stopped talking to me. Why did I have to find out you were getting married by getting an invite?"

"Well you never told me about Jack!" He defends.

"Do you know what, Harry?" You cry, "I'm going to continue living my life however I want, and maybe you should just focus on yourself and your ridiculous marriage."

You're sure your eyes are red as you turn and start to confidently stride away. You don't make it more than a couple of paces before a rough hand grabs you by the arm and drags you back. He's much stronger than you, and he pulls you into him a bit too hard so that your bodies collide. You struggle against him but he holds you still, continuing to glare at you viciously. You don't know who initiates it, but suddenly your lips are together and parting, and your tongues are dancing and he's pulling the back of your head closer to his and squeezing your hips. Your hands are divided, one wrapped around his neck and the other gripping the shirt on his back.

It's over before it's begun, and suddenly he's staring at you with wide eyes filled with anger and guilt. You swallow, savouring the taste of him as you start to comprehend what you've just done. He's getting married in 5 days, and you've just kissed him. You've put each other in an impossible situation.

Pre-wedding jitters, that's all.

He stares at you, as if he's about to cry. You suddenly don't know what to do and wonder if you've ever been quiet so awkward in his presence. You're not touching any more, which seems lucky, as Leo touches your arm gently and you jump. He's checking that the two of you are alright, to which you nod. You're secretly thankful for the escape route. Leo leads you both back to the rest of the stag party, and Harry purposefully slips in front of you to take the seat next to Dean so that you can't. You're almost pleased, it gets you out of an awkward situation, so you sit down next to Leo, who's looking concerned. He knows the two of you better than you give him credit for.

The rest of the night passes fast – it's late already, and the alcohol helps you to ignore everything and sit and smile until you're back in bed.

At least you managed to grab a glass of water before you came upstairs, you have a feeling you'll be worse for wear tomorrow. Your vision isn't as clouded as it was at one part of the night, but you still can't call yourself sober.

It's no surprise when sleep evades you. Your mind is in overdrive. The selfish part of you is remembering the kiss, how it felt and how you didn't want it to end. The sensible part of you is feeling terribly guilty for what you've done to Harry, or what he's done to himself. You're still not sure whose fault it was. Another, worse part of you is still harbouring an extreme anger, not only for the current situation but for everything that has happened over the last 18 months. A few hours pass like this, lying in silence, looking up at the ceiling. Eventually, you hear a knock at your door and you sit up, knowing who is stood outside. Reluctantly, you invite him in, and you're about to unleash a torrent of anger until you see the redness of his eyes and the tears that are dripping down his cheeks.

Suddenly your anger dissipates, and no matter what has happened you know that in this moment he needs you, and that you need him.

You sigh and hold out your arm. He doesn't ask for any more persuading and lifts the covers that surround you, sliding into bed next to you with an arm around you. He's still as drunk as you, you can tell. He hugs you tightly and you can feel the dampness as his tears press into your hair and face. A couple of years ago, you would have kissed him on the cheek and told him everything would be ok. You daren't do either now.

"I've ruined everything" He sobs, shifting himself to press his forehead against yours. You get a waft of his musky scent and it overcomes you slightly. The urge to kiss him is on you again, the familiarity brings back all the emotions that have been so hurt and buried. You satiate yourself by kissing his forehead firmly and shaking your head.

"I have" He moans, rejecting your disagreement. "I've lost you, and I'll probably lose Lisa."

The tips of your noses are touching again and it's so hard to resist him, particularly now you've tasted him and know what you're missing out on. You shake your head again gently.

"You haven't lost me" You sigh. It's true. No matter what he does, he can still manipulate you without trying. You will always be his puppet. You can't even maintain anger at him. You take a deep breath as you work out what you're going to say, and what you want to do. You can't bear to see him like this, and even if it means your own happiness might be compromised, you know what you have to do. "I won't tell anyone about earlier, Harry."

He lifts his head up so that he's looking into your eyes. You try your best to look happy and disguise your hurt, and you hope that in his drunken state he might just buy it.

"Are you sure?" He whispers.

"I wouldn't ruin your chance at happiness." You state simply. He looks at you sadly, and a horrible strand of hope appears that you wish had not. He _is_ happy with her, you tell yourself repeatedly.

"Thank you." He mumbles, nuzzling his cheeks against yours, and sending goosebumps down your neck, back and limbs. He kisses your cheek softly and smiles, closing his eyes and looking ready for sleep.

"You shouldn't sleep here." You whisper, suddenly aware that your promise might be meaningless if Lisa came back and discovered the two of you in the same bed tomorrow.

Harry nods, but his tiredness consumes him now that he is free from worry, and he is soon asleep, arm around you. As much as you want to stay there, wrapped up with him, you are suddenly very thankful for the other single bed, and wriggle away from him, slipping into that bed now that Harry is asleep in yours.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for your reviews! Glad you're enjoying! **

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Leo's eyebrow raises as the door opens and Harry leaves your bedroom the next morning. He's opened the door to the bathroom, ready to step in, and he shares an awkward 'morning' with Harry on the landing. You can practically see Harry's cheeks redden from behind him, and you're not at all surprised when Leo sneaks in now Harry is back in his own room, a disapproving look on his face.

"What happened?!" He whispers, surprised. He has an angry look on his face but you can tell its a facade. You think you might be able to see a bit of a grin curling at his lips. You cock your head to the left to show him you've noticed and he raises his eyebrows again, smiling this time.

"Nothing" You say quietly, highlighting the fact that you were in different beds. Leo shrugs and asks you why he felt the need to come into your room in the first place. You're left with a decision, tell the truth straight out and risk annoying Harry, or lie, and risk Leo knowing and risk annoying him. You figure that Leo will find out eventually, and if you're honest with him, he might not tell Harry he knows.

You sigh and wonder where to start.

"When Harry took me off to talk to him last night... Well he was telling me off really, because I was flirting with Dean" You begin uncertainly.

"Nikki, why didn't you tell anyone that you ended things with Jack?" Leo says suddenly.

You stare at him, not sure quite what to say or how he found out. He looks at you like he's your father, and he's disappointed. You drop your gaze and pray that the sensation crawling across the veins deep within your cheeks isn't the beginnings of a blush.

"He told me." Leo adds and you sigh. "I don't know." You admit.

"Why did you leave him?"

You smirk and wonder if Leo could be that blind. Surely anyone could have seen through that sham of a relationship? One glance at his face shows you that he could see that, he's just trying to get you to admit it.

"Harry." He says quietly. You say nothing, your silence should be enough of an answer. He'd hit the nail on the head. After the invite had arrived for the wedding, you hadn't been able to clear your mind of the man in the room next door. Leo sighs and takes your hand gently. A smile turns the corners of your lips but it's a smile of sadness rather than joy.

"What happened last night?" He probes, realising he'd lost track of his original question. You roll your eyes, you'd half hoped he'd forgotten about it. "When you were talking?"

"I don't know how it happened." You begin, and you can see the warning written all over his face before you open your mouth again. "But we kissed –"

"-Nikki!" Leo blurts out, trying his best to keep his tones hushed. You feel like a naughty child. "He's getting married"

"I know!" You sigh. "I know."

He gazes at you and he can read the hurt and confusion written in your expression. He wants desperately to help, you know, but it's far too late for you to be happy now.

"Nothing else happened, did it?" He questions, realising why you are having this conversation. "Why did he sleep here?"

"No, nothing happened. He was upset over what we'd done and we talked and said we're going to pretend it didn't happen. We were both incredibly drunk and he was just having a moment of cold feet, that's all." You finish your sentence more loudly than you would have liked, signalling the end of the conversation. Leo raises his eyebrow slightly, but you're sure that your open soul with its bleeding wounds is visible to him. You've never told him how you feel about Harry, but he's always known.

Leo squeezes your hand gently before releasing it and resuming his original purpose of showering. You sit up against the headboard and stare blankly at the wall opposite, wishing that time would hurry and your nightmare would be over.

The moment you've dreaded, the moment that Lisa comes home from her hen party, comes around quicker than you would have liked. You wish you knew Harry less well, because you can see the tiny differences in him as he greets her, compared with their goodbye yesterday. You notice the way his left arm stiffens slightly as it loops around her back, not as loosely or carefree as yesterday. You perceive the way he doesn't know what to do with his right arm, and props his hand awkwardly on her hip. You can see the lack of conviction in his eyes as he plants a kiss on her lips, and you can tell that your friend is nervous.

When they turn to greet you, Harry is eyeing you anxiously, as if you'd go back on your promise. You ignore his gaze, and instead smile broadly at Lisa, who doesn't seem to notice and instead presses another kiss on Harry's cheek. They go upstairs to unpack her overnight things, and suddenly Leo is behind you, a comforting hand on your back. You lean into him softly, thankful that he's here.

Later that night, when you're tucked up in bed, you hear a metallic creaking and groan quietly. You lean over and pull ear plugs from your wash bag, shoving them angrily into your ears to drown out the noises that haunt you. Your imagination runs riot and you start when you realise the tears that flood your face. A few tissues later and you feel like a ghost, a hollow of a person that hasn't functioned properly since she was abandoned. The tears fall again when you hear the dulcet tones of Harry's moans, loud enough to penetrate past your ear plugs. You can feel vibrations in the floor shaking your bed slightly, but you try to block it out, closing your eyes tightly and humming softly to yourself until you find yourself wrapped in a drowsy embrace.

Long after things have gone quiet, a while after you have been taken by sleep, your door opens and your eyes flash open. For the second time in as many days, Harry is stood in front of you with red eyes. He doesn't ask this time, he pulls back your covers as you push yourself back against the wall, making space for him. His eyes are free of sleep, you notice, when he lays his head down on the pillow. You don't know what's going on, but you half think it's a dream; a figment of your imagination, at least. You're disorientated from the recent sleep. You watch him for a few minutes. He's not meeting your gaze, he looks almost afraid to do so. Your autonomic hand finds itself on his cheek, and it shakes him from his thoughts enough to get caught in your eyes.

"She left." He whispers into the silence. Your mouth drops suddenly and your eyebrows raise, surprise written all over you. You hope he can't hear your palpitations, to you they seem like drums in the dead of night.

"What?" You manage to splutter. You don't understand, everything seemed fine earlier.

"I did something stupid, and she's gone."

"What?" You ask again, conscious that you sound like a blubbering idiot.

"I don't want to talk about it." He whispers with a hint of finality, and you know to be quiet. You shuffle closer to him, taking comfort in the body heat and the sound of his heart. His long arm snakes around your back, and you only now realise that you're only wearing a nightshirt and knickers. You swallow as he shifts his position, simultaneously pulling your shirt up to place his hand on your bare skin. You're glad your eyes are closed, the proximity and the situation are playing tricks with your body that the sight of him might aid. You know he just wants to feel close to someone, but your fantasies aren't saying the same. You're thankful for your gender, thankful that your body can't betray you quite like a man's would have. It certainly wouldn't help things.

His fingers play with the skin on your back and goosebumps erupt down your legs. You hold your breath as they slide higher up your back and flick to the side, threatening to touch the edge of your breast. He knows what he's doing. You open your eyes to find his closed, and move his arm away with yours. He looks at you then and you shake your head softly. You can see his longing, but you know it's not for you but for the feeling. You finally understand why he's doing it when you catch the smell of vodka on his breath.

"You're drunk Harry." You say quietly, and he nods in silence. His arm returns to its spot on your back but he pulls your shirt down again. His head rests against your shoulder, features buried into the pillow. Out of pity and love, you kiss his hair and hold him until you find yourself almost asleep again. You don't mention sharing the bed tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the reviews so far, you guys keep me going! Potentially the penultimate chapter now, not entirely sure but we're nearing the end! **

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He'd got up before you, but how long ago you have no idea. When you dress and go downstairs you can hear him in the kitchen with Leo, but their tones are too hushed to make out. They've heard you before you can hear them, so your mind remains clueless as to the events of last night.

You offer a small smile as Harry meets your eyes. He looks less sad than last night, but he's enveloped in confusion and cushioned in frustration. He tells you simply that he doesn't know what he wants, so he can't make a decision, and that's the end of it. The three of you make awkward conversation, but no one really knows what to say. You desperately want to know why Lisa left in the dead of night, but you get the impression that Leo wouldn't be willing to tell you either. The topic of the wedding is brought back up when Harry's mum calls the landline. You recall Leo saying she'd moved out to the States shortly after her son had, claiming that she didn't have anything keeping her in the UK. Typically, she wants to know what is happening. You get the impression Harry may have spoken to her earlier this morning, not that its late, but you can't tell how much she knows from Harry's side of the conversation. Harry's new mantra, the constant reminder that Lisa left him and not the other way around, stabs at the remainder of your blackened heart.

You can't take much more of this. Whether it's your unhappiness or his you despise you're not sure, but you need to do something about it.

You motion to Leo that you're going out, and grab your bag and shoes without thinking, heading out onto the unfamiliar streets of New York. You spurt out the address that you'd accidentally memorised as you enter the cab, and find yourself soon after at the home of Lisa's mother, where she stayed on her hen night and where you assume she has gone.

The kind, somewhat elderly lady you can see is her mother lets you in when you explain that Harry hasn't sent you, but Lisa scoffs when you enter the living room and sit yourself down opposite her.

"Typical." She laughs bitterly. Your brow furrows and your head cocks to one side, giving away immediately that you don't understand and showing that you're not as close to Harry any more as she might think. Her gaze equals your confusion as she reads your open pages, and she slowly becomes more comfortable in your presence.

"He hasn't told you, then?"

You shake your head softly, and your curiosity peaks. You've asked her for answers before you can stop yourself, but she laughs again, a bitter cackle that shows her displeasure.

"I'm not going to make it easier for him." She states calmly. "Why have you come here?"

Quietly, you begin to explain that Harry is a good man, that whatever he's done he surely didn't mean, and that in all the time you've known him you've never seen him commit the way he has here, that she must be something special for him to ask her to marry him. You talk about the times he's helped you or saved you and the times he's been there for you, and by the time you've finished talking you know she's noticed the swell of tears in your eyes, and you wonder if she can sense how you feel about him. When you're finished, she sighs softly, and pulls the diamond engagement ring from her left hand, holding it in front of her.

"I don't want him." She says simply. You stare at her blankly and wonder how on Earth anyone could turn him down. "Give me your hand." She adds her command and takes your left hand before you can think, sliding the ring onto your own ring finger as if it was yours. A tear does drop down your cheek when you realise it fits perfectly, but was never intended to. She smirks and comments that it suits you, as you gaze at her, eager for answers.

"Why?" You ask quietly.

"For a number of reasons. Firstly, because of what happened last night, and secondly..." She trails off and for the first time begins to look a little awkward. "Well you may as well tell him now. Secondly, because I've been seeing someone else."

Your eyes widen and your heart pumps desperately. You realise that you'll have to deliver this news and you dread the moment, dread watching his heart break.

"For how long?" You ask before you can stop yourself.

"6 months." She sighs. "I'm not proud of it. Some things are just meant to be and others just aren't."

You look at the floor as you realise how right she is. Some things aren't meant to be, and some never will. You're not really sure why you're still here, and the urge to leave becomes almost unbearable. You need to be away from everyone, you need time to think. A thought occurs to you that might have taken you longer than it should have.

"Why won't you tell me what happened?" You question as you stand up to leave. "This sounds stupid, but am I involved in some way?"

Lisa starts to laugh and she almost looks happy. You wonder just how unhappy she was and how oblivious everyone must have been. Her laugh is bitter, and while you know you'd never be one of her friends, she seems almost grateful that she was provided with an escape route.

"You could say that." She chuckles, and you leave confused.

The idea of going back and facing Harry isn't your idea of a good time, but you can't think of anywhere else to go or any excuse for not telling him the truth straight away. You sigh as you hail another cab and groan the address to his apartment building. When you inevitably reach it, you slip inside and are thankful that you can only see Leo in the front room.

"Where did you go?" He asks casually, curious but not desperate. He assumes you'd been for a walk to clear your head.

You sigh and run your hands through your hair before joining him on the sofa, turning to face him with your turmoil displayed across your features. He tells you Harry has gone to bed when you ask where he is. You finally answer him in a whisper: "To see Lisa."

He sits upright and looks at you closely, now interested. His expression is asking you why and you wonder if he's assuming you had your own agenda. You shake your head with a small smile, and explain that you told her what a good guy he was, and some of the things he'd done for you in the past. Leo's ironic smile doesn't fail to catch your attention but you can't place why he's doing it, and he won't give you a straight answer. You look at your hands, specifically your left ring finger, and Leo looks too, wide eyed.

"She gave me this." You state simply, and you can hear Leo sigh as he leans back into the sofa and puts his hands on top of his head. He's debating what to do, and how to tell Harry, but you haven't even told him the worst part yet. "Leo, there's something else." You begin again, nervously. "She's been cheating on him... for 6 months."

Leo's blank stare echoes your own feelings and he groans. He looks at you, offering to tell him for you, but you shake your head. You're the one that made the mistake of going to see her. He squeezes your shoulder for luck and you smile before taking the stairs. You hesitate at the door, unsure whether to knock. You don't want to disturb him if he's asleep.

Gingerly, you turn the handle and peer around, heart breaking as you see his red eyed figure looking at you, surprised. You whisper an apology and go to leave, but he calls your name and you find yourself inside the room and crawling into his bed, your puppet strings tangled in his hands. As you lay next to him, he presses his forehead against yours and you can feel the warmth his sadness has generated, leaving you with an overwhelming desire to make him happy that you cannot fulfil.

"I don't know what to do." He whispers finally, breath hot against your cheeks. You can't help but breathe him in, desperate for a taste of him.

"I need to talk to you." You respond quietly, shyly. He pulls his head back so that he can better see your eyes and the sadness within them. As he comprehends it he cocks his head to one side and eyes you curiously. "I went to see Lisa today." You admit.

His eyes widen a little, but he knew that it would be about this. He says nothing but waits for you to continue.

"I was trying to explain to her what a good guy you are, and what she'd be giving up-" You pause when you notice his smile. Your brow furrows and he shakes his head softly. Why does everyone do that? You shake off the feeling of being left out and continue. "- but I'm really sorry, Harry. She gave me this."

The diamond sparkles in his gaze as you inch it off your finger and hold it out for him. He takes it, examining it closely. After a few moments, he looks back up at you with an awkward expression. "Would you mind just putting it back on for now, so that I don't lose it?" You raise your eyebrows in a joke-like manner and he grins as he slides it back onto you. He smirks as he looks at it. "It fits you perfectly."

You pray he can't see your sadness. His hasn't become apparent yet and you wonder if the news has quite sunk in. "Harry, that's not all."

He slowly lifts his eyes to yours and you can see the dread that fills them.

"She told me..." You choke slightly and pause for a few deep breaths. "She's been seeing someone else. For 6 months."

He sighs and drops his gaze. You can't help but to hold him close to you, secretly admiring the feel of his bare chest against the exposed skin around your navel, where your blouse has ridden up. You wonder if he thinks you don't notice the kisses he's placing into your shoulder, near enough on your neck, but your body certainly knows. You erupt in goosebumps and you're thankful for your padded bra. You wonder if he could ever understand how hard it is for you not to kiss him right now.

After a few minutes have passed, he pulls his head back up so that he can see you, but leaves his lips so dangerously close to yours that you almost cave to the desire. "I had my suspicions." He admits softly, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks and catching in the near perfect amount of stubble.

You hold him for a while longer, until the steady flow ceases. "At least that's made my mind up." He whispers, hints of sarcasm and laughter lacing his tone. Your sad smile is your response and he eyes you carefully.

"When do you have to go?" He asks. He'd been expecting to go on a honeymoon, so he hadn't really thought about your departure.

"Sunday" You say quietly. The wedding would have been on Saturday.

He looks at you sadly again. "Can't you stay longer?"

Your heart wrenches as he asks you. You want nothing more than to stay with him but you don't know if you can take it without doing something you might regret, or more likely something that he might regret. You shake your head silently and his eyes plead with yours. "I can't, Harry. I have things I have to go back to. There's work, there's my life..."

"Nikki I know you broke up with Jack." He states and you look at him with wide, ashamed eyes. "Leo told me."

You roll your eyes as you drop your gaze and you shake your head a little.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He pleads.

"A number of reasons, Harry." You pause as you formulate your answer. "Firstly because I didn't want to, but mostly because I didn't want Lisa to feel like I was a threat, you know what some women can be like."

His imploring eyes leave yours as he looks away from you sadly. "Why did you end things?"

"I don't want to talk about it." You snap, more harshly than you had intended. He automatically moves back slightly, affronted, and you sigh and apologise under your breath. He shakes his head as if to say he's forgiven you, but you know he's desperate to ask you again. You wonder when he and Leo spoke about it, and why they got onto the subject of your own love life.

"When did Leo tell you?" You've asked before you can help yourself.

Harry pauses before he answers, simply: "This morning."

"Why?"

"Why did he tell me? I don't know it just came up I guess."

You look deep into his eyes and note that his distraction has removed his sadness, but you're sure yours is still plain to see. The magnetic force pulling you against him is so hard for you to resist. "How did it come up?" You ask shamelessly, fed up of the dance both of your words are performing.

Harry remains silent and you wish, not for the first time, that you'd never come here in the first place. Your frustration boils over and your own tears fill the brim of your eyes as you roll back and stare at the ceiling. "Lisa told me I'm involved. Was it the kiss?" You whisper spitefully, immediately regretting your outburst when you feel Harry's comforting hand leave your arm.

The silence is painful and there is so much tension in the room that you know you'd need less than a knife to cut it. You don't know how long passes before he speaks again, but you think it must be a few minutes. "Don't." His cold warning vibrates through the room, bouncing off of the walls and hitting you repeatedly as it echoes back at you.

"What did I do, Harry, to piss her off so much?" You ask bitterly, despite your warning. You turn back to look at him, meeting only the side of his face with your gaze. His hands cover his eyes and you know he's crying again as you realise you are too. His fingers tug at his hairline and massage his forehead angrily, his sobs escaping play a bitter melody through the dense air. "I'm sorry for ruining everything."

He viciously pulls back the covers and climbs up from the bed, wrapping his arms over his head and leaning against the wall. You know you've already gone too far, and that you can't make things much worse than they already are, so you persist. "What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything!" He shouts, and as he turns back to face you the expression on his face is one that you've only seen on him a few times, one that leaves you scared as you regard it.

"Then what happened?!" You plead, very aware of your raised volume.

"It was me ok? I fucked up, I fucked up badly, it was nothing to do with you!"

"Then why am I the only person not allowed to know?" You retort angrily as the door opens and Leo bursts in. He looks at Harry with kind eyes but displays a warning glare at you as he takes your arm and pulls you from the room.

"Nikki, just leave it for now, ok?" He says quietly as he lets go of you when you're in your room. He smiles sadly, but leaves you there and goes next door to calm Harry down. You can hear thuds, presumably Harry's fist making contact with the wall or furniture. How that escalated, you have no idea, but you feel empty as you curl up on the bed, sobbing, and wonder what you've done.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the massive delay in writing this, I've been struggling with the ending and have been so terribly busy... Hope you enjoyed this anyway! **

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The next few days pass with an unspoken tension hanging in the air. You don't spend much time around either Harry or Leo, it's easier if you remain in your room and engross yourself in _Pride and Prejudice_, or sit quietly downstairs with the TV on. You haven't made eye contact with Harry since your argument, and Leo just looks at you with a sad pity you don't want to see, so you ignore them, and find yourself making friends with Central Park and all of its quirks.

You find yourself sitting on the sofa, staring at the TV, finally on the last night of your stay in the States. Leo retired to bed some time ago, and Harry's been upstairs all night. You jump therefore when you hear footsteps on the stairs and realise you're cornered. Out of panic, you jump up and slip into the kitchen, pretending to browse the fridge. You don't look behind you when you sense his presence, but your heart stops beating. His hand meets your arm and pushes it gently down by your side, closing the fridge in the process. His touch sends shivers down your spine and you erupt in goosebumps that his fingers palpate. He takes your shoulder and rotates you 180 degrees. You take a step back but there isn't anywhere to go, and suddenly you're backed up against the fridge and his chest is just touching yours. You're glad of your padded bra.

Both of his hands are on your shoulders and his eyes are staring at yours, but they don't belong to him, they belong to an animal. His gaze is too much, but you can't bring yourself to look away. Fingers meet your cheeks and press into you desperately. He's closer now, you're pressed against him and you can feel every part of him, you claw your nails into his side and his face inches closer, so close you can taste his breath, and you're surprised not to smell alcohol. All reasonable thought abandons you, and as his lips finally touch yours you stop caring. All that matters right now is that you both want this, need this.

A hand squeezes your hip as his tongue enters yours and his urgency is unreal. You pull him deeper into you with your fingers on his neck, desperate for every taste of him you can have. As your tongues dance Harry grabs at your hip, pulling your blouse from under your high waisted jeans and sliding up to your chest, where you sigh as he caresses you. He takes a step back and you panic that he's trying to stop, but he pulls you with him back out into the lounge area, and backwards onto the sofa, where he proceeds to remove his t-shirt. You moan as he fondles you and you admire his body, resuming your kiss as soon as you've gotten over it.

Somehow, your blouse and jeans have joined his shirt, and as soon as his own jeans hit the floor. You groan as he grinds up against you, and after only a few moments the desire has become too much, and finally, the two of you unite.

After a few hours of lying together, ignoring the unspoken words between you, Harry eventually leans over and checks the time, cringing when he realises that your flight is only 4 hours away. He shoots you a sad smile, but bids you goodnight and disappears back upstairs.

You sit for a few moments, wondering if you'd been dreaming, until eventually you take yourself back upstairs.

Your morning is rushed, you wake, dress, and pack your remaining things before you pour yourself a bowl of cereal. You look up when the stairs creak, but avert your eyes quickly when Harry steps out from the stairs. You can't decide how to act around him now. You sit yourself at the dining table and stare at the bowl, feeling your heart race when he pulls back the chair besides you and sits down. He puts a hand on your shoulder gently and you can't help but look at him, your eyes getting caught up in his gaze as he refuses to let you go.

'"I don't want you to leave." He whispers. You stare at him, your sadness and hurt plain for him to see. You falter, and open your mouth to respond before you know what you want to say, but you're saved by Leo's appearance. Harry stands up quickly and makes his way into the kitchen. Leo shoots you a questioning glance but shakes it off.

A part of you doesn't want to leave either, especially after last night. You contemplate what it would mean not to go back. Apart from your job and Leo, what did you really have there to go back for? You sit in silent thought for far too long, and before you know it, Leo is ushering you out of the door, suitcases in your hands. You take the backseat and stare out of the window miserably, the greyish dawn reiterating your turmoil. Eventually, the car pulls up and you climb out, grabbing one of the smaller suitcases as you head toward the terminal.

As you stand there, staring at Harry, you don't know what to do. You know you need to turn and leave, to get on the plane and go back to London, even if it's just to think. Your heart hurts when you consider the possibility that you might just be a rebound. He looks down at you sadly and you gaze up with eyes that are blurring from your sadness. Eventually, he wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss into your head as you grip him back. He slowly lets you go and you take a step back, noticing Leo's curious gaze. He looks at you and asks quietly if he can have a moment with Harry. You nod quietly, squeeze Harry's hand with a goodbye, and turn to leave, filing into the queue for the departures lounge. Leo joins you shortly after, and you look back, hoping for a final glance of Harry, but he's already gone.

It seems like an age has passed before you're back in your house in London. It still seems strange without the small reminders of Jack, the faint scent of man has disappeared, along with the simple things like male deodorant and shaving soap. You don't know what you expected, but this is far worse. You feel empty again, just like you did when he first told you he was leaving, except this is much worse. For those few hours last night, you had him, he was yours, giving that up was hard. You're tired from your journey, and you soon find yourself dozing on your sofa, so you climb the stairs reluctantly and wriggle into bed, choosing on purpose the spare bedroom that he once occupied. You fall asleep easily.

The soft buzzing of your phone wakes you, and you grunt at what you assume is the alarm and ignore it until it stops. After a few moments, when you finally wake up, you stare at the phone curiously, looking at the name attached to your missed call. You wonder idly why he's phoning you, or what you've forgotten to bring back. You hit redial and an unintentional smile creeps over your face as you hear his voice. You note a nervous twang in his tone, and wonder what he's thinking.

"Harry?" You ask quietly, a croak in your voice from your slumber.

"Hey." He responds softly. "Are you home?"

You sigh, remembering your promise to text him when you were back safe. You assure him that you are, and that your flight was fine. Eventually, when you stop talking, you realise that something isn't right. You start to ask him what's wrong, but you hear a knock at your door. You mutter an apology and assure him you'll call back when you can, pulling your cardigan on as you feel the cold English air against your skin. You step downstairs carefully, and hold your arms defensively as you pull back the door.

The resulting image sends you almost into shock. You stand there for a few moments as the face in front of you looks back awkwardly. Your defensive arms drop, as do tears you didn't know were there. A hand touches your cheek and eyes look at you apologetically.

"I couldn't stay." He says quietly. You lean into him and sob audibly, feeling his arms wrap around you. He looks at you when you pull apart, and gently presses a trail of kisses from your cheek that finally makes its way cautiously to your lips. "I got the next plane, Leo made me realise..." He mumbles between kisses. You giggle when you realise he's still wearing the same clothes as this morning. You finally break apart and grin at him. "Leo told me why you ended things with Jack."

Your embarrassment suddenly becomes apparent and your cheeks redden. He grins and steps toward you, making you realise that he's still stood outside. You stand back to let him in and close the door behind him, relaxing when you see his smile. "It might sound bad, but I'm glad that you felt like that." He admits. You laugh and pull him onto the sofa with you, where he continues.

"Nikki, I never knew how you felt, you have to know that. If I'd known..." He trails off momentarily, contemplating how different things might have been. "You might have guessed by now that... that I love you..." He stutters, and you appreciate how hard it is for him to say it, particularly being the first one to say it. Your heart swells and you can't help but steal a quick kiss before you let him go on. "I've loved you for longer than you know, Niks, I had to leave because of it, I didn't think you felt the same and it hurt me so much every time I saw you with someone else or imagined it. I needed to get away, and I did, and I met Lisa, and I thought she was enough Nikki, I truly did. But she could never be enough, because she's not you. I realised this far too late, after you'd come over, and at totally the wrong time..."

You cock your head to one side and look at him with a questioning gaze. It's his turn for his cheeks to redden, and you realise you're finally going to find out the reason for Lisa's sudden departure. "...I may not have been thinking about her." He says quietly, and your eyes begin to widen. "It just sort of slipped out in the moment..."

You stare at him for a few seconds while you take it in, and burst out laughing. He snorts back bemused laughter and rolls his eyes, embarrassed. He looks into your eyes, smiling, and plants another kiss on your lips. Your mind struggles to believe that the man you spent so long fantasising about was in fact fantasising about you too. You curse your inability to display your emotions, and vow to be honest.

"You're an idiot." You whisper, still chuckling from Harry's confession. "I love you too."

He breaks into a grin and pulls toward you, drinking from your lips as your fingers tug at his shirt buttons. For the second time in 24 hours, you find yourselves blissfully happy.


End file.
